The Daily Mail Song

Apologies to our many non-UK readers for whom this will be baffling but recent political events in Britain make this song deeply relevant:

Royals on the first page,
Swine flu and road rage.
Find maddie, foreign baddie, put him in a big cage.
Bureaucratic red tape, facebook gang rape.
Gordon out, David in before the country caves in.
Ian Huntley gets his own jacuzzi and a gym in jail.
It’s absoultely true because I read it in the Daily Mail.

Bring back capital punishment for paedophiles,
Photo feature on schoolgirl skirt styles,
Binge Britain. Single mums.
Pensioners. Hoodie scum.
Oversexed and underage, (Foreign stories half a page)
Criminals get Marks and Spencer vouchers when released on bail.
It’s absoultely true because I read it in the Daily Mail.

Ban this gay smut,
I’m not racist but…
Car crime, knife crime.
Hang the cheating wife time.
Pop stars take drugs.
Teen boys wear hoods.
Sports stars have sex.
Bears shit in woods.
Brussels politicians want to stop us drinking English ale.
It’s absoultely true because I read it in the Daily Mail.

Climategate. Petrol prices.
Pot-holes. Credit crisis.
Gypsies. Russell Brand.
Time we all took a stand.
Modern art where to start? Trash the lot of it.
Apart from statuette of puppy.
£50 plus p+p.
Muslim women hiding stolen goods behind their veil.
It’s absoultely true because I read it in the Daily Mail.

Poles paid to give blood.
Immigration ‘like a flood’.
Soft touch british isles,
Cancer from your mobiles,
Cancer from your laptop,
Cancer from your root crop,
Cancer from your shoes,
From your dog,
From your pen top,
Immigrants arriving on an unprecedented scale..

It’s got to be the case if it’s written in the Daily Mail.
They never mix their words in the good old Daily Mail.
It’s absoultely true, because I gather all my views,
From the Daily Mail.

http://www.lyrics85.com/192999/dan-%26-dan/the-daily-mail-song-lyrics.html


Categories: Outflanking Platitudes

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